• Take a closer look at your expectations. Moms are notorious for setting unrealistic expectations for themselves and focusing on doing what's "best" or what they think they "should" be doing: Moms are not supposed to lose their temper; Good mothers always know what's going on with their kids; Moms should take the time to volunteer at their child's school; Moms are supposed to keep a tidy home; Good mothers raise well-rounded, good-mannered children.
  
  This is a perfectionist approach to parenting that puts a lot of stress on both you and your family. Since it's impossible to live up to these kinds of expectations, you'll only be setting yourself up for failure, mistakes and more guilt by hanging on to them. If this kind of thinking sounds true for you, consider ways you can shift your expectations to more realistic ones.



• Be your own personal coach. Imagine that a close friend of yours came to you with the same issues of guilt you're feeling ... what would you say to her? Try speaking to yourself in the same way you would your best friend. You'll be surprised at how your inner dialogue changes!



• Catch guilty feelings when they come up. Become more aware of guilty feelings as they come up and ask yourself: "Did I make a mistake I can learn from here or am I being too hard on myself?" Once you identify where the guilt is coming from, you can either change your future behavior or change how you're thinking about the situation. For example, feeling guilty upon discovering you made a sandwich with moldy bread for your child's lunch is a valid cue to change your sandwich-making behavior in the future-pay attention, Mom!
  
  Feeling guilty about not ironing the bed sheets is a sure sign to change your thinking-lighten up, Mom!If you have trouble sorting out guilty feelings, try using a notebook or journal to write down your thoughts about what you think you've done wrong. Talking to a close friend can also be helpful.



• Practice forgiveness. Making mistakes is part and parcel of being a parent-it's part and parcel of being human for that matter! We all make mistakes as Moms, and we will continue to make mistakes-some big and some insignificant. Being able to let go of blame, anger and judgment for things that happened in the past is key to learning and growing and, more importantly, to becoming a more loving person. Let go of the past. Focus on what's real and important to you now in the present moment and you can never go wrong.

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